George Totes for Megababes

George
after Morgan Parker

George loves pizza. George stroked a tiger. George likes his girls girlie and will tell you he’s tall. George isn’t looking for anything serious. George knows this amazing little place by the river. George had his bum out on a cliff once. George. If you like cheese you’ll love him. George is a cheeky chappie. George likes his women funny. George usually goes for blondes but George has a thing for brunettes. George will kiss you on the forehead and make sure you get home safe. George doesn’t pay rent. George got played on BBC Radio 6 at 4 in the morning. George says fair play. George says his ex was a model. George loves curves, calls you sweet vanilla latte. George’s best friend is Nick from the micro-brewery. George paid someone to put together his eco-friendly urban wall garden but has a diesel engine. George beckons over the waitress. George calls her honey. George tips her twenty and makes sure you see it. George calls the bouncer buddy. George keeps saying, nice guy. George calls his mummy and you know she won’t like you. George’s ex sold ice cream from a wheelbarrow[…]”